


Can You Hear Me Doctor?

by CelestialGay



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 08:29:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17138408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelestialGay/pseuds/CelestialGay
Summary: Yaz is badly hurt on an adventure and The Doctor makes a decision.





	Can You Hear Me Doctor?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nelliecrain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nelliecrain/gifts).



> This is for Nellie. It was made for the holiday gift exchange in the Thasmin discord. As it's Christmas now (as of 26 minutes ago) I though you all deserved a bit of heartbreak.

“Yaz!”

There was a flash of amber light. Pain suddenly radiated out from Yaz’s abdomen, crippling her.  She was knocked backwards into something soft and warm, strong arms wrapped around her and lowered her to the ground. Someone was talking to her- yelling? She wasn’t sure, her stomach felt like it was on fire and she couldn’t concentrate on anything else. There was noise all around her, she couldn’t hear properly, black started seeping into her vision, the pain was too much for her to bear. Yaz screamed.

 

The TARDIS med bay was large and white - as big as the hospital ward Ryan’s nan had taken him to years ago to see his mum for the last time. Plain white beds were lined up in rows down to the very end of the room,each with a screen attached to the end of it and a curtain that could be pulled around to offer the occupant a little privacy if needed. Medical equipment lay scattered around the edges of the room, pushed between beds and in some cases, piled on top of the mattresses. Luckily, it wasn't a room that saw many occupants.

 

There were doors lined up against the left wall. Ryan knew one led to the surgical theatre:he’d watched as The Doctor had placed Yaz into a strange containment chamber where she hovered unconscious in mid air, her wound dripping blood onto the floor. Ryan had jolted as blue lasers had suddenly appeared and cut into Yaz’s skin, evaporating the blood and slicing through her body, removing the glowing crystal that had been embedded in her stomach. Knitting her torn insides back together. Green lasers had filled the open gashes with a pink jelly-like substance which settled in the wounds and solidified, fusing with Yaz’s flesh. It was horrifying and strangely beautiful to watch. When Yaz had finally been released from the containment chamber The Doctor had been there instantly, gathering the limp body into her arms and cradling her with extreme delicacy, as if she were afraid Yaz would shatter in her grasp. 

 

Yaz was now settled into the bed closest to the door. She was much paler than normal, her skin a strange pasty light brown pushing on grey, probably on account of all the blood she’d lost. Ryan wasn’t used to seeing her like this. Yaz was usually full of fire - she looked so small and broken against the stark white of the med bay sheets.

 

“How’s she doing?” he asked, moving to the end of Yaz’s bed and resting a hand on the adjustable white rails that surrounded the mattress. 

 

The Doctor looked up from her spot next to Yaz’s bed - she hadn’t left her side since Yaz was shot. Ryan had never seen her look even remotely tired before, but now she had bags under her eyes and her hair was matted and tangled, dried blood covered the front of her shirt and there were smears of black on her cheeks and forehead.

 

“She’ll be ok.” The Doctor turned back to face Yaz, “She’s sleeping now. The TARDIS mostly fixed her up, but she still has healing to do on her own.”

 

“You should get some rest Doctor, I can stay with her.”

 

“No.” There was steel resolve  in The Doctor’s voice. “I’ve got to be here.” She didn’t move her gaze from Yaz’s face, her jaw set, mouth in a hard line. She clasped her hands together over her knees, leaning forward slightly. Ryan moved from his place at the end of the bed, sitting down in the chair next to her and placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. Her coat was covered in dust and blood and there was a tear in the shoulder, the lining visible though the hole in the seam.

 

“You need a shower and a sleep.” He spoke softly to her, squeezing her shoulder lightly. The Doctor shook her head.

  
  


“Doctor, you’re not going to help Yaz by burning yourself out. Also it might not be the best idea for her to wake up to you covered in her blood.”

 

“Blood?” The Doctor looked down, as if noticing the state of her clothes for the first time. “Oh.”

 

“Yeah, look, I can stay with her while you shower and change, and then you can just sleep here. There are plenty of empty beds around.” The Doctor was looking skeptical so he added, “I’ll sit with Yaz. If anything happens I can wake you and you’ll be right here, okay?”

 

She looked up at him then, and there was so much pain in her face that Ryan felt his heart break a little. He hated seeing his friend in such a state. “It’ll be alright Doctor, I promise.”

 

“Alright, I’ll be back in five minutes.” She got to her feet wearily, boots scuffing the floor as she stood. She moved closer to the bed and leant down slowly to leave a gentle kiss on Yaz’s forehead. 

 

“I’ll be back in a mo,’” she whispered quietly, squeezing Yaz’s hand. Ryan felt as if he were intruding on a private moment, and shifted uncomfortably in his chair. With one last look at Yaz, The Doctor turned to leave.

 

“You really love her don’t you?” Ryan’s quiet question stopped her in her tracks, one hand on the doorframe, her head bowed in sadness. She slowly turned back to Ryan, pain shining from her hazel-green eyes.

 

“Ryan…” She said the words so softly he almost didn’t hear them. “Please don’t make me answer that.” 

 

A single tear made its way down her cheek and she was gone.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Yaz woke up two days later, the white light of the room burning her retinas. She blinked, letting her eyes adjust to the bright lights, and could make out a face hovering over her.

 

“Yaz?” She could feel one of The Doctors calloused hands cradling her cheek. Yaz brought her hand up, curling her fingers around The Doctor’s wrist, not wanting the contact to end. Her body ached.

 

“Why’s my face wet?” She mumbled.

 

“Oh, that’s me, sorry.” The Doctor wiped her own face with the cuff of her coat and then gently used the other side to wipe her tears from Yaz’s face. She had to pull her hand away to do so and  Yaz reluctantly let her fingers fall from The Doctor’s wrist back on the bed. She propped herself up on her pillows, moving to a sitting position. 

 

She was in the TARDIS med bay. 

 

_ Why am I-  _

 

The memories came back to her quickly, in flashes.  _ A gunshot. Pain. The Doctor’s arms around her, lifting her up and running, her friends calling her name... _

 

Yaz pulled up the plain white gown she was wearing, exposing her stomach. She gasped. A large pink scar twisted out from the middle of her abdomen, it resembled a sun almost, a circular shape with tendrils of pink coming out from the centre.

 

“How-” She began but The Doctor cut her off.

 

“You almost died Yaz!” The Doctor looked like she was about to cry again. “You deliberately put yourself in harms way and you almost died! If I hadn’t gotten you into the TARDIS on time-” Her sadness was suddenly evolving into anger.

 

“They tried to kill you! I wasn’t just going to sit by-” Yaz tried to defend herself, pulling the white material of the med gown back over her scar. The Doctor had moved back to a standing position next to the bed, hands burrowing into her pockets. 

 

“I’m a Time Lord! I regenerate! I would’ve been fine!”

 

They were yelling now, and both had tears in their eyes. Yaz pulled her knees towards her, hands linking around her legs as her fingers found the sheets again. Grasping the thin material so hard her knuckles turned white.

 

“NO! It was a Miresda crystal! You know that stops your regenerative powers, you said so yourself! I couldn’t just let you die-”

 

“And I almost had to watch  _ you  _ die!” Tears were running down her face freely now, Yaz had never seen The Doctor cry. Her voice softened suddenly, marred by sobs, “You almost  _ died  _ Yaz. You were  _ so close _ . I hadn’t- been quick- enough-” her words were separated by sobs now, tears flowing down her face and dripping off her chin.

 

“Oh Doctor, I’m so sorry.” She reached out towards her friend, taking her hand and pulling her onto the bed, gathering The Doctor up in her arms. The Doctor dissolved into even more tears, clinging to Yaz. “Hey it’s ok, I’m ok.” Yaz whispered comfortingly into her hair. Pulling her closer and letting her cry.

 

“I’m sorry Yaz, I didn’t mean to yell.” The Doctor mumbled into her neck later, after the tears had stopped. Yaz wiped The Doctors her face with the sheet.

 

“I’m sorry too.” Yaz whispered back, stroking The Doctors hair. They lay together on the med bay bed, The Doctor curled into Yaz’s side, face buried in the crook of her neck. 

 

Graham found them a few hours later, he had come to check on The Doctor in order to try to make her eat something, he stopped in the doorway when he saw them. Quietly walking in to the med bay he placed the cheese and tomato sandwiches he’d made on the bedside table and tiptoed out of the room. Smiling quietly to himself as he left.

  
  
  
  
  


Yaz woke up to an empty bed, she sat up and looked around. No sign of The Doctor. There was a plate on the bedside table with a glass of water and a sandwich on it, Yaz’s stomach rumbled and she picked up the sandwich, opening the bread to double check it was safe to eat. Cheese and tomato, all the cheese on the TARDIS was halal, The Doctor had explained when Yaz had first found the kitchen, it was made from synthetic fibers, like all the other food on the ship. She bit into it and groaned in bliss as the food hit her tongue. 

 

A set of clothes were neatly folded and sitting on one of the bedside chairs, further inspection revealed a pair of Yaz’s jeans and one of her star shirts, her usual leather jacket was hanging on the back of the chair.

 

Yaz finished her sandwich and downed the water before picking up her clothes. A few seconds later she was walking into the control room.  

  
  


The Doctor was leaning over the controls, muttering to herself.

 

“Hey.” Yaz walked up the step and joined her by the console.

 

“Yaz!” The Doctor looked up at her, smiling, “How are you feeling?”

 

“Much better,” Yaz stretched, she could feel the slight tightness of her new scar in her abdomen. “I was aching yesterday but I feel great now.”

 

“The TARDIS med bay has some amazing technology.” The Doctor pulled some wires from the console and Yaz noticed the absence of the engines usual whirring.

 

“Have we landed? Where are Ryan and Graham?” 

 

The Doctors face fell, “They’re waiting outside. I wanted to talk to you. Alone.” She was avoiding eye contact, fiddling with the console.

 

“Doctor, what’s wrong?” Yaz moved forward, placing her hand over The Doctor’s where it was resting on the console. Her heart stung as The Doctor immediately pulled away from the contact.

 

“Ah, Yaz, we’re in Sheffield. I’ve already talked to Ryan and Graham and they understand-”

 

“Understand what? What’s going on?” 

 

The Doctor sighed and finally looked up at her, there was something in her eyes that made Yaz’s stomach lurch. 

 

“Yaz, I know exactly how this ends, it’s happened before. What if next time you don’t survive? Or Graham or Ryan? There were people before you, you know? People who traveled with me. Do you want to know what happened to them? Why they don’t travel with me anymore?” Her eyes were shining with tears again and Yaz felt that maybe she didn’t want to know.

 

“Doctor-” She was cut off.

 

“They died Yaz, most of them, others got hurt, or left me. But do you know what the one thing they all had in common was?” She took a deep breath, straightening up and shoving her hands into her pockets. “None of those endings were happy. Not one. Everyone got hurt. Everyone.”

 

Yaz finally found her voice, “Doctor I’m happy, I’m happy here with you-”

 

“You need to find happiness without me, Yaz. I’m sorry.” She was crying again and Yaz reached for her. But she pulled away.

 

“Please Yaz-” 

 

“Doctor-” Yaz could feel her own hot tears on her face, running down her cheeks.

 

“I’ve done this so many times, trust me Yaz, this is the best way.” 

 

Ryan was at her side now, she hadn’t heard him come though the TARDIS doors, he tugged on her arm, “C’mon Yaz, it’s for the best mate.”

 

Yaz ignored him, “Doctor, you can’t just  _ make  _ me leave!”

 

The Doctor turned away, “I’ve made my decision Yaz. You need to go.”

 

The Doctor’s voice was cold and hard. The harsh words broke Yaz’s heart. Ryan led her out of the control room, Graham was waiting outside on the pavement. He opened his arms and pulled Yaz into a very grandfatherly hug. She cried against him, the groaning and wheezing of the TARDIS dematerialising behind her made her cry even harder and she could feel Ryan rubbing circles on her back.

  
  
  
  
  
  


It had been two months since The Doctor had left. Yaz was just starting to feel like she was returning to normalcy. Her heart still ached whenever she walked past the spot on the corner where the TARDIS used to appear. She’d spent a few days after the incident just crying, surprisingly Sonya had been extremely supportive throughout the whole thing. She had held her sister as she cried each night she never asked why Yaz was so upset. She’d never felt so grateful for having a sister before.

 

Yaz pushed open her door and threw her hat onto her bed, it bounced on the mattress and rolled onto the floor, Yaz sighed and followed the hat to the far side of her room, bending down to pick it up. A soft glint caught her eye, shining out from under her wardrobe. It was her throat mic. They had  used them a few times after the final confrontation with Tim Shaw, she must’ve dropped it at some point. She knelt down on the floor, pulling the small device out from under the large wooden piece of furniture.

 

Yaz sat down on her bed, flipping the throat mic between her fingers a few times. She could feel the metal warm against her hands, her body heat activating the adhesive side of the device and sticking it slightly to her fingertips. She sighed and set it down on the bedside table, undoing her uniform jacket and hanging it up in her wardrobe.

 

Yaz emerged from her ensuite ten minutes later, toweling her hair dry. Her eyes caught the glint of the throat mic resting on her bedside table and she paused for a second. Deciding her hair was sufficiently dry, she hung her towel up on the back of her ensuite door and sat on her bed. Her fingers hovered over the throat mic before making her decision and picking it up, she warmed it between her hands and attached it to the side of her neck.

 

Yaz took a deep breath.

 

“Doctor? I know you can’t hear me. Or maybe you can, I don’t know.” She paused, unsure of what to say. “I um, I had a long day at work, double shift. It was tiring... I saw Ryan though, he met me for lunch. We went to this little sandwich shop down the road from the station, I was gonna take you there. Before.” Yaz’s heart hurt but she continued anyway.

 

“I just- I just wanted to say something. Doctor, if you  _ can  _ hear me- I don’t really know how to start I guess. I just want to say that I miss you. And that I know why you left us, I can understand not wanting us to get hurt. I just- being around you made me feel so- so important, like I could make a real difference, you know? You’re my best friend.” Yaz was quiet for a moment, she picked at one of the loose threads of her blanket.

 

“I stand by my actions, what I did that day, I’d do it again. It’s my job to protect people. It’s what I’m trained for. I don’t regret it. I think you’re too used to looking after everyone else, maybe you forgot how to  _ be  _ looked after, to be protected, but thats what its like when you're a part of a family. We protect each other.” Yaz smiled, the thread had come loose now, she ran it between her fingers. The blood red thread a stark contrast against her dark skin. 

 

“Doctor, I know you left because you didn’t want anyone to get hurt. But I think it’s more important to be happy now, even if you know it might end in sadness. You deserve to be happy, even if it’s just for a little while. I was happy with you. Just being around you. I miss you.” A tear made its way down her cheek, dropping onto her bed spread. She took a deep shuddering breath, her heart beat faster in her chest.

 

“I just- Doctor, I think- I think I might be in love with you. Or maybe that’s stupid- I don’t know.” She was crying now, tears rolling freely down her face, she wiped her eyes and tried to continue, “Please Doctor, if you can hear me, please come back.” She couldn’t go on, sobs wracked her body and she sank back into her pillows, peeling the throat mic off and dropping it down the side of her bed.

 

Yaz cried herself to sleep that night and in a blue box on the other side of the universe, The Doctor cried with her.

  
  
  


Yaz woke up in the middle of the night. At first she wasn’t sure why, she sat up in bed, listening hard. 

 

_ Was that-?  _

 

She strained her ears. There it was again, she was sure this time, she’d know that sound anywhere. She jumped from her bed and raced down the hall, barely pausing to pull on a pair of ugg boots. She took the stairs two at a time, racing out onto the street, the cold cutting through the thin material of her pyjamas and biting at her skin. Yaz hardly noticed it though, she could see the blue box on its usual corner and her heart leapt into her throat.

 

The doors swung open and Yaz could see the silhouette of The Doctor, the console room lighting her from behind.

 

“YAZ!” And she was running, they collided meters from the blue box, a tangle of arms and legs, almost toppling to the ground, “I’m sorry Yaz! I’m sorry!” they were both crying, clinging to each other in the middle of the street.

 

“You came back!” Yaz barely managed to speak though her sobs.

 

“I should never have left, I’m so sorry Yaz.” The tears were slowing now. “I didn’t want to lose you, so I left. Probably not the best way to handle it in hindsight.”

 

“Probably,” Yaz agreed, stepping back slightly so that she could see The Doctors face, it was hard to make out her features in the dim light. 

 

“I won’t do it again, I promise.” She held her hand up, pinkie finger extended and Yaz smiled, linking her own pinkie though The Doctor’s and squeezing tightly.  “Can you forgive me Yaz?”

 

“Yes, I can. Just talk to me properly next time, instead of leaving. You kind of broke my heart.” Yaz admitted, their pinkies stayed linked together falling down between them, hanging in the space and joining their shadows cast by the streetlights further up the road.

 

“Yaz I’m so sorry,” The Doctor was crying again and Yaz used her free hand to wipe away the tears.

 

“Hey,” She said softly, “You came back, that’s what’s important yeah?” 

 

The Doctor nodded, leaning into Yaz’s touch. Their faces were very close, Yaz noticed all of a sudden.

 

“Yaz?” The Doctor whispered, Yaz could feel her breath ghost over her cheeks.

 

“Yeah?” She answered, matching The Doctor’s whisper.

 

“Did you mean what you said? About being in love with me?”

 

Yaz could have sworn her heart stopped.  _ Fuck it.  _ She took a deep breath, and leapt.

 

“Yes” She breathed quietly.

 

“Oh,” The Doctor was looking her straight in the eyes and Yaz’s heart stuttered. 

 

“‘Oh’?” Yaz questioned, “What does that mean?”

 

She was answered by a pair of soft lips against her own, The Doctor’s hand moved to the back of her neck and Yaz melted into the kiss, her own fingers wrapping around one of The Doctor’s yellow suspender straps, pulling her closer. Her heart beat so fast against her ribs it felt like it was trying to escape.

 

“It means,” The Doctor said a few moments later when they broke apart, resting her forehead on Yaz’s, “I love you too.”

 

Yaz kissed her again. It was perfect. They came apart again a few seconds later.

 

“Come back to the TARDIS?” The Doctor asked, “It’s cold out here and I think we have a lot to talk about.” 

 

Yaz nodded, grabbing The Doctor's hand and leaning into her warmth as they made their way towards the glowing windows and blue doors of the ship.

 

They talked long into the night and early morning, that afternoon when Yaz woke, she felt safe and warm, wrapped in The Doctor’s embrace.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Kate for beta. Merry Christmas all!


End file.
